Have you ever started a new friendship only to realize later that something felt off? Forming connections can be exciting, but it’s important to recognize when certain behaviors raise red flags. Being aware of these signs early on can save you from potential heartache and help you build healthier, more genuine friendships. Let’s explore some of these less obvious red flags and how you can address them.
They Only Talk About Themselves
If someone constantly dominates the conversation and rarely asks about you, it’s a sign of one-sidedness. Friendships should be reciprocal, with both parties taking an interest in each other’s lives. You can address this by gently steering the conversation toward a more balanced dialogue and observing how they respond.
They Often Cancel Plans Last Minute
Constantly canceling plans at the last minute shows a lack of respect for your time. Everyone has emergencies, but if it’s a pattern, it may indicate that you’re not a priority. To handle this, communicate how it makes you feel and see if they’re willing to make more of an effort to keep commitments.
They Avoid Vulnerability
If your new friend never opens up or avoids deeper conversations, it may indicate emotional walls. Friendships grow through vulnerability and mutual trust. You can address this by sharing something personal first, making them feel comfortable to reciprocate. But if they remain closed off, it could be a sign they aren’t ready for a genuine connection.
They Don’t Respect Boundaries
A red flag to watch for is someone who pushes your boundaries, whether it’s emotional, physical, or even in terms of your time. Healthy friendships involve respect for personal limits. It’s important to clearly state your boundaries and see if they adjust. If they continue to disregard them, it may be best to reconsider the friendship.
They Speak Poorly of Others
If a new friend frequently gossips or speaks negatively about others, it’s worth questioning how they might speak about you when you’re not around. Constant negativity can also bring unnecessary drama into your life. You can address this by changing the subject when gossip starts and observing how they handle positive conversations.
They Are Inconsistent in Communication
Inconsistent communication, where they’re all in one day and distant the next, can be emotionally exhausting. It may point to unreliability or a lack of commitment to the friendship. You can raise your concerns about the inconsistency and express the need for more reliable communication to maintain a stable friendship.
They Never Apologize
If someone never takes responsibility or apologizes when they’ve hurt you, that’s a major red flag. Friendships require humility and the ability to own up to mistakes. You can address this by calmly bringing up instances where their actions were hurtful and paying attention to whether they can acknowledge it and work to improve.
They Are Competitive with You
A bit of friendly competition is natural, but if someone constantly tries to one-up you, it can indicate insecurity or jealousy. Friendships should be about mutual support, not rivalry. To address this, try giving positive reinforcement and see if they tone down the competitive edge or acknowledge their behavior.
They Pressure You to Change
Friends who try to change your personality, appearance, or values can undermine your self-confidence. True friends accept you as you are. If you feel pressured to change, it’s important to speak up about how their comments make you feel and see if they respect your individuality going forward.
They Only Reach Out When They Need Something
When a friend only contacts you when they need a favor or help, it can feel transactional rather than genuine. Friendships should involve more than just being there during times of need. You can address this by observing whether they show interest in your life outside of their needs and gradually distancing yourself if they continue to take advantage.
They Don’t Celebrate Your Wins
Friends who can’t be happy for your successes may harbor hidden jealousy or resentment. Supportive friends cheer for each other’s achievements. If you notice this, it’s best to have an honest conversation about how their lack of support makes you feel and evaluate whether the friendship is truly beneficial.
They Make You Feel Guilty for Spending Time with Others
If your new friend gets upset or possessive when you spend time with other people, it’s a sign of insecurity or control. Healthy friendships allow room for other relationships. Make it clear that you value spending time with multiple people and that it’s important to maintain balance in your social life.
They Play the Victim
Constantly playing the victim or using emotional manipulation to gain sympathy can be draining. If someone frequently positions themselves as helpless or wronged without taking responsibility, it may be a toxic pattern. You can address this by encouraging them to focus on solutions rather than solely dwelling on problems.
They Lack Empathy
Friendships are built on understanding and compassion, so a lack of empathy can create an emotional disconnect. If someone dismisses your feelings or can’t offer comfort during tough times, it’s a major red flag. Communicate your needs clearly and watch how they respond to ensure they can offer emotional support when needed.
They Are Always Negative
A friend who always focuses on the negative aspects of life can bring your mood down. While it’s natural to have bad days, a constant cloud of negativity can impact your mental health. Encourage more positive conversations and, if necessary, limit the amount of time you spend around their negativity.
They Take Credit for Your Ideas
If a friend constantly takes credit for your ideas or achievements without acknowledging your input, it can erode trust. Friendships should be built on mutual respect. If this happens, don’t be afraid to speak up and make sure your contributions are recognized.
They Hold Grudges
Holding grudges and never letting go of past mistakes is a red flag that the friendship may not have room for growth. Friendships require forgiveness and moving forward. Address this by discussing the issue openly and determining whether they’re willing to work on resolving conflicts rather than holding onto resentment.
They Disrespect Your Time
A friend who constantly arrives late, doesn’t show up, or frequently changes plans may not value your time. Consistent disregard for punctuality or commitments shows a lack of respect. It’s best to discuss how this behavior affects you and decide whether they can make an effort to improve.
They Refuse to Listen
Lastly, if a friend never seems to truly listen or care about your thoughts, it’s a sign they may not value your voice. Friendships thrive on active listening and mutual respect. Express your feelings about not being heard and observe if they make an effort to engage in meaningful conversations.
This article originally appeared on UnifyCosmos.
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